The Comprehensive Guide On How To Get Your Boyfriend Back

Are you heartbroken?

Are you haunted by the one who got away?

Do you feel lonely from the memories of the beautiful moments you spent together?

These are common feelings after any breakup, and it’s okay to feel that way. So many questions will run through your mind as to what you would have done right to make it work, you’ll keep wondering if he is ever coming back and you may find yourself wanting to reach out and beg him to take you back. But hey, take it easy. Whether it was his fault or yours that you broke up, you can still reignite your love..

In this article, you’ll not only discover how to get your boyfriend back, you will:

• Discover why it didn’t work out the first time,
• discover yourself and build your self confidence,
• know how to reach out to your boyfriend,
• And be able to confidently define your dating goals and hopefully build a relationship that will last forever.

Read on and find a comprehensive guide on how to get your boyfriend back:

Step 1: Find out the reasons for the breakup

The first step of how to get your boyfriend back is to know what led to the breakup. Part of the idea of wanting your ex back is to build a lasting relationship, right? It would be useless to get him back then break up the following week. If you left him, acknowledge why. If he dumped you, it would hurt, but you still need to find out why. Men walk out of relationships for various reasons. They are sometimes unsure of what they want. If his reasons for walking out were flimsy and unreasonable, then your union is still workable

Some of the reasons for breakups are:

Insecurity

When partners don’t trust each other, it’s possible to be insecure. If you are also the kind of girl who always seeks validation from her man, it’s time to change. It’s okay to want to be validated by your man, but know your limits. Don’t be clingy. It sucks and literally chokes the relationship. It also gives your man the impression that you cannot stand on your own.

• A relationship with no boundaries and where each partner cannot have his/her own space is likely to fail. If this is your reason for breaking up, then you’ll have to find out why you or your man became so insecure. That way, you will know what to change.

The relationship got into a rut and became boring

Men love admiration. Women, on the other hand, like to be appreciated. It is a beautiful feeling yah? When two people have been in a relationship for sometimes, they settle and quit putting in an effort. When a man realizes you don’t see him as the superhero you saw when you started dating, he will start looking for that admiration elsewhere. He will see you as nagging and not appreciative of everything he does.

• This is not very healthy for your relationship. Always be respectful. Don’t be negative and encourage your man when he goes out of his way to please you. If you don’t feel appreciated, voice it out, don’t bottle any negative feelings.

Rigidity

Who wants to be governed even in their relationships? No man is attracted to a strict and rigid lady. Men want to see your independent and softer side. Be strong and needy at the same time (confusing) right? Well, show him that you can be strong on your own but still need him to feel secure. Men feel attracted to you when they see that softer side that depends on him and that tough side that can face the world alone.

• It’s a boost to any man’s ego to know that his lady feels safe in his arms. Don’t be afraid to show your weak side. Cry like a baby in front of him if you feel overwhelmed and let him take you in his arms, and comfort you. It feels good to know someone care, right?

Unfaithfulness

Aah, this one is a tough one. Infidelity in relationships is serious. If he cheated on you, be sincere with yourself if it’s worth having him in your life. If you cheated, ask yourself why you even cheated in the first place and if he can forgive you. Some couples heal after infidelity while others don’t. Find out if you are the former.

Finding out the reason for the breakup will guide you in knowing if you want him back. It will make you see if breaking up was either a rash decision or if the relationship is still redeemable.

Step 2: Don’t contact him

It’s not going to be easy but hey, it works. Relationship experts advise that it is essential to cut off all contacts after any breakup. Don’t reach him out on Facebook, messenger, texts or any other social platform. Don’t even call him

During this period, you will go through a lot of emotions. You may panic or be anxious that he may find someone else, but it’s important to be calm. Remember begging, pleading, and acting desperate will not help. You don’t want to screw any chances of having him back.

The no-contact period is meant to build you. You should take your time to discover yourself. Define why you want this man back in your life. Your reasons should be valid enough.

Some of the things you can do during this time are:

You can change your appearance

This is the time to look and feel good. I know you may not be excited about anything right now, but you have to get out there and make a few changes to your image. Imagine bumping into your ex and you look so refined and sexy, he’ll notice and probably think he’s missing out on something great. If he meets you looking horrible, he’ll think you can’t live without him. That’s not a very good impression.

• Eat right and get your shape back. If you had weight issues, this is the time to hit the gym and be fit.
• Go shopping and change your wardrobe. Take care of your skin and let it glow. All this will transform you and build up your self-confidence.

Find a new hobby

When two people are in love, they always want to spend time together. It leaves them with no time outside the relationship. During the no contact period, you can discover a new hobby. Find out something that gives you great satisfaction. It will not only fulfill you but take your mind off the breakup.

• You can join that charity organization you had put off for a long time or even a sports club if you are a sports enthusiast, and build your skills. Just do something that will make you happy and fulfilled.

Catch up with old friends

Friends are good during this period. They can help ease the pain. Reconnect with them and have fun. It is, however, important not to let them talk you into contacting your ex. Let your friends know what you are going through and spend quality time with them.

• Go out on dates with them and dance your heart out. This is also the time to catch up on the latest events in their lives and all the gossips in your circle. It’s a cool way of soothing the pain.

Get occupied with work

Don’t turn into a workaholic but pursue that work-related goal that you have been postponing. Go for work training that will enrich your career, take that new challenge at work and deliver. It takes off your mind off the heartache, and it will make you discover strengths.

• Nothing can be so rewarding than giving yourself a target and achieving it. It’s a boost to your confidence and an assurance that still have something good to offer especially if your ex put you down.

Take time and write

Writing is therapeutic. It helps bring out your hidden thoughts and lifts the burden off your shoulder. Go to a quiet place and write a journal about your relationship. Jot down some of the things you loved most about your moments together, what is it about your partner that ticks you and why you want him back so badly.

The no-contact period is meant to build you. During this time, you will find a new you. You may even realize that you don’t need the man back in your life. It’s also meant to give your partner space to re-evaluate himself. He will miss you and even start asking your mutual friends about you. If he reaches out or you bump into each other during the no-contact period, just be calm and confident. Don’t act desperate. Keep the conversation short and be kind to him.

What not to do during the no-contact period

• Don’t drink yourself silly. It’s not worth it.
• Don’t lock yourself indoors every day. It’ll drive you crazy.
• Don’t neglect yourself or your work.
• Don’t go out with different men to make him feel jealous. It will turn him away, and it’ll only succeed in wasting your emotions.
• Don’t be jealous or try to attack his new love if you find out that he moved on. It gives the impression of immaturity and desperation.

Step 3: Reach out to your boyfriend

Now that you have found out the cause of your separation and have worked on yourself, it’s time to get your man back and to re-ignite the fire. It’s never a guarantee that he’s going to be receptive but we’ve got to try right? There are different ways of contacting him. You can text, call or send him a letter. Find out what works best for you.

A phone call may be tricky because it doesn’t give you the time to organize your thoughts. A letter, on the other hand, may also not yield much because it’s outdated and your man may not even read it. Texting in this case would work it out just fine.

Plan what you are going to tell him carefully. Be calm and don’t be needy. Remember you have worked out on yourself. You are confident, strong and composed. Let him see the new you.

When contacting him,

• You have to be calm and composed at all times.
• Be positive and avoid talking about the negative aspects of your relationship.
• Remind him of the great times you had and why you think you are still perfect together.
• Don’t make it look like a booty call. It will work against you.
• Know what he likes and what he doesn’t and remind him of such things.
• Be in control, keep it short and don’t use the one line conversations. They don’t help.
• Lastly be patient and expect anything. Don’t send him several messages if he doesn’t respond. Give him time.

Depending on the response you get on your texts, you can plan a date, or it may be time to move on with your head held up, at least you tried, it’s his loss if he doesn’t want you back.

If you plan on a date, these are some of the things you need to do:

Put on nicely

Make sure you dress well. It is not the time to overdress. Just make sure you are tidy. Focus more on what you will discuss with your ex and make sure you are calm and in control

During the date,

• Don’t be seductive. Have some self-respect and don’t try seducing him.
• Be positive. Don’t blame your guy for the failure of the relationship.
• Don’t make the man feel that you are so needy and that you’ll die if you don’t have him back. At least don’t give him that privilege. The secret is being calm.
• Don’t try to make him jealous. It won’t work on your favour. It’ll only ruin everything you have worked so hard to build.

The success of this date will depend entirely on how you approach issues. Avoid pointing fingers and if your man tries to point out your weakness, don’t be defensive. Just humble yourself and accept your mistakes. It won’t hurt.

Make your date as short as possible. Don’t let boredom set in. Thank your ex for meeting up with you and let him know you had a great time. After the date, you may suggest another meet up but don’t force him. Let him do it out of his own free will.

The process is a bit slow, and it’s going to take some patience, but remember you want to build something stable and long-lasting.

Final thoughts

Love is the most beautiful thing that can happen to us. It takes hard work to keep a relationship. If your relationship was built on love, it doesn’t matter how nasty your breakup was; you can still work it out and be happy forever after.

Go for it and don’t give up on your love.