What Next After A Relationship Ends? Find Out How To Meet Someone After A Breakup
There’s no denying that breakups hurt. Whether you had a perfect, good or awful relationship, nobody likes endings.
If you truly loved your partner, a breakup would be the most devastating thing that could happen to you.
We don’t like losing what’s valuable to us, and relationships are the most important thing in our lives. They are the source of all the best and worst memories.
Breakups can cause you to experience a loss of self. Usually, when a relationship ends, part of you goes with it. You park emotionally, and it takes some time and effort to let go.
The beauty is that no matter how nasty your breakup was, or how deeply you were hurt, you will survive it, and when you eventually do, you can learn something valuable about yourself.
You need to accept that relationships fail, and breakups are a part of life. Be happy and grateful that life brings both good and bad things.
Read on, and I’ll show you:
- Some valuable lessons you can learn from a breakup,
- How to let go and move on with your life after a breakup,
- And how to meet someone after a breakup.
1. Valuable lessons you can learn from a breakup
Trust me; it’s so difficult to find a silver lining when a relationship ends. It’s even more difficult if you were dumped, but the pain will go no matter how hard it may seem at the beginning.
Usually, there are several lessons learnt after a break up, and that’s the beauty of life. We always find some truth in a paradox.
Below are some valuable lessons only a breakup can teach you:
2. You are much stronger than you think
It will hurt, but you’ll survive. That’s for sure. The end of your relationship could be the start to a new beginning.
Usually, when two people are in love, they tend to give up on their dreams, conform to their partner’s wishes and desires at the expense of theirs, and depend on each other.
You will find it difficult to detach yourself, and sometimes you’ll feel so low and think you’ll not make it without your ex, but hey, remember there’s a time you lived without him/her.
This is the time to get a grip of yourself. Pick up those dreams and hobbies you gave up on because your partner did not support you. Push yourself, baby, you are stronger and, have potent qualities than you think. Your heart is resilient, and you’ll overcome.
The weeks and months following a breakup are the toughest, but little by little the pain will go away, and you’ll regain full control of your life. If you stay positive and trust in the life’s timing, you will realize that you can achieve more than you ever imagined.
3. Believe people when they show you who they are
When someone shows you who they are through their actions, believe them.
You may ignore all the red flags thinking that if you love him/her enough, they’ll change. That never happens.
Take note of the actions, and never settle no matter how sweet their words and promises are.
4. You may not have been in love per cue
Sometimes people confuse love with the idea of being in love.
You need to gauge your feelings. Are you truly in love with your partner or you love the idea of being with him/her?
Sometimes, our insecurities can lead us to think that our partners are the best thing that ever happened to us and we can never leave without them.
That’s a fuss, and you need no one to survive. If you are over-dependent on each other, then that’s not a healthy relationship.
5. There’s more to life than just love
Well, don’t get me wrong. Love is the most beautiful thing that can ever happen to anyone, but hey, there’s life outside love.
Don’t frantically search for love in the hope that it will complete you. Live your life, do what makes you happy, and be optimistic.
True love comes to you on its own, and when it does, it’ll complete you.
6. Resentment and bitterness is a waste of time
It’s natural and okay to be bitter and resentful at the beginning, but never let these feelings get the better part of you and occupy your consciousness. The results may be fatal.
A heart full of resentment due to unrequited love is dangerous and can be the cause of heinous crimes.
Be cautious of your unguarded thoughts. Just let it go, and remember if your love was not reciprocated, then your partner may not have been in love with you as they claimed.
7. There’s no point in blaming
Take responsibility, and quit blaming your partner for the failure of your relationship.
It’s painful and scary to accept and assume that you could have had a hand in the breakup, but it’s the only sure way you’ll find clarity and a thorough understanding of your inner self.
8. Forgive
No matter how much they hurt you, learn to forgive.
Nothing liberates like forgiveness. You see, living in unforgiveness is like being imprisoned.
You’ll gain a lot if you just took the step to forgive your ex. They made a decision, and you have to accept it.
I know it’s not easy, and it takes courage, but you gain everything by letting it go.
9. It takes two to make a relationship work
You may have been in love with your partner so much such that you always assumed responsibility when anything went wrong.
Even when they were wrong, you’d blame yourself, and think that if only you did this or that maybe they wouldn’t have reacted in a particular manner.
In the end, you’ll realize that you were in that relationship on your own, and it never works that way. For a relationship to work, the two people involved have to put in some effort. That way, no one will be hurt.
10. You are worth more and your wellness matters more than the relationship
Depending on the kind of partner you were dating, you may feel crushed and worthless after a breakup.
It’s normal to feel that way, but remember you are worth more than what you accepted from your partner.
Validate and make yourself happy. You are beautiful and handsome. You deserve to be with someone who appreciates and values you.
Your wellness matters than being in that toxic relationship.
11. You will love again
It’s hard to believe especially when you are hurting, but believe me, you will love again.
We sometimes cling to bad relationships for fear that we may never get love elsewhere.
Nothing in this world is static.
Everything changes. The earlier we understand that, the more prepared we’ll be on any eventuality in life.
No matter how good your relationship was at the beginning, it’s like weather, and it is bound to change, and when it does, remember there’s a time you live without your ex. You, therefore, can still live without them.
The dating arena is a big ocean. Once you have completely healed, you will find someone who compliments you.
12. Always keep the lessons learned and never repeat the same mistakes
After a breakup, you are now more aware of what you want and don’t want in a relationship.
Gauge the people you interact with. Do they compliment you? Do they make you happy? It’s important to be sure of what you feel before starting another relationship.
Take your time and don’t rush things just because you fear to be alone. It may lead to a vicious cycle that never ends, and that’ll drain you emotionally.
13. How to find closure after a breakup
Well, it’s not a secret that breakups are hard. You will be left with so many questions, bitterness, and fears that are often difficult to resolve.
You can wallow, get angry, and grief over the relationship, but a time comes when you need to let go and move on with your life.
It’s easier said than done I know, but as the saying goes by yard it’s hard, but inch by inch anything’s a clinch! So, make an effort, and bit by bit, the pain will lessen.
Closure is when you finally accept that the relationship is over, and you’ve resolved to move on and build your life afresh.
If you loved your partner so much, it may take some time to get over them. Usually, the grieving period may take longer or shorter depending on various factors.
So how do you get closure?
14. Don’t contact your ex
It’s not gonna be easy that I swear, but if you desperately want to get closure, don’t reach your ex.
You’ll find several reasons to want to reach them out. Sometimes you’ll feel so low that you’ll feel like calling them to tell them how you feel, but don’t do that.
Try to close the door in your mind, and never contact them. Delete their contacts, and if they call or text, don’t respond. It’ll make it much easier for you to get closure.
15. Stop stalking them on social media
Creeping on your ex’s social media will make it more difficult for you to let go.
You’ll get angry, frustrated and stuck by just thinking that they could be having fun while you are hurting.
It’s hard to ignore them but for your peace of mind, avoid their social media pages.
16. Talk it out either with a friend or a therapist
No matter how strong you are, you’ll need a shoulder to lean on during this challenging moment.
If you have a trusted friend, invite them over to your house or go to their place, and let it out. Cry if you have to, but don’t bottle up the pain.
A therapist, on the other hand, will give you an objective feedback from a professional point of view. This will make the healing process much faster.
You could also write all the positive and negative aspects of your relationship on a journal or piece of paper and burn it later.
That physical aspect of burning or burying all that information has an emotional impact on how you feel and it will bring healing to your soul.
17. Get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex
If you were leaving together, get rid of their belongings.
Holding on to your ex’s clothes, or personal stuff, means you are still clinging to them emotionally.
Clean the house and get rid of anything that reminds you of them. If you can’t do it alone, talk to a close friend and ask them to help you out.
18. Pick up new hobbies and challenge yourself with tasks that build you
There are dreams and hobbies you gave up on because your partner did not support you. Now is the time to take them up.
Build up your bounce back muscles by daring yourself with tasks that you never thought you’d tackle. Maybe your partner made you believe you aren’t worth anything. Well, this is the time to disapprove yourself.
Go back to schools, get that certification, take up that hobby, and don’t just wallow in your pain. Get moving and give your life some meaning.
It’s important to do things that give you great satisfaction and add some meaning to your life.
Avoid things that will merely distract you from the pain like alcohol, heavily partying or getting involved with different people just to numb the pain.
19. Don’t get into a new relationship before you heal
There is no way you will have a happy and healthy relationship if you have not recovered from your past breakup.
Usually, relationships are meant to bring out the best in us. We all get into relationships to learn and grow.
What are some of the things you learned from your failed relationship? What don’t you want to take to your new relationship?
Well, you can only learn all these if you took some little time out of the dating scene and reflected thoroughly.
This healing period will bring so many things into perspective, and it will make you much stronger and emotionally stable to love again.
20. Forgive yourself and your ex, and don’t expect an apology from them
Your ex may have mistreated you. You feel crushed, and your self-esteem is at its lowest. It’s okay to be bitter, but don’t let that bitterness consume you.
Some people are so insensitive that they’ll never apologize even when they are wrong. Forgive them anyway. There is power in forgiveness, and it truly liberates.
It’s also time to forgive yourself. You may have been the reason why your relationship failed. Accept responsibility and don’t blame yourself for too long.
Dust it off, pick your broken self up, and move on.
Finding closure after a breakup is the most liberating thing. You will feel a sense of freedom and acceptance.
There will be moments when you’ll miss your ex, cry and wish you’d turn back the hands of time. Take it all in, and give yourself time to grieve. It’s all part of the healing process; eventually, you’ll gain your stability.
It’s important to let go because you need to love again, and you can only do that if you have closed the door on your past relationship.
When you finally accept and resolve to move on, here are some of the best tips that’ll give you insight on how to meet someone after a breakup
21. Get them online
We live in a digital era, and virtually everyone is always online.
Dating sites, both paid and free offer a great platform where single people can mingle, and build meaningful relationships. Social media platforms also play a significant role in bringing people of all walks together.
The beauty with online dating is that you can do it at the comfort of your couch. It works well for those who are very busy or live oceans apart. You also don’t have to be shy of expressing how you truly feel.
If you are using a dating site,
- Free in this case, you’ll need to create a killer profile, and show your latest and most beautiful pictures. Tweak your profile such that anyone who visits clings a little longer. Make it worth their time.
- Paid dating sites, on the other hand, will go an extra mile in matching you with people you are most compatible with. Just pay the subscription fees and fill out those qualities you are looking for in a partner and the matchmakers will do the rest.
- Make sure you state your deal breakers so that everyone who checks you out knows their limits.
- Be truthful. If you want a no strings attached relationship, say it. Just be honest about your weight, color, likes, dislikes, and your motives. Someone who’d rather reject you by checking your profile than meeting you and learning that you are not who they thought you were.
- Be safe always and avoid disclosing lots of information about yourself. The internet is an ocean of weird characters. Some are lunatics whose real intentions are to harm you.
22. Church
Many people avoid looking for partners in church thinking it’s immoral. This is far from the truth because that lady or man seated next to you during sermons can make a good partner.
Since you attend the same church, it would be much easier to start a conversation with the guy/lady you are interested in.
The retreats or prayer meetings could also help you know each other better and start a relationship that’s blessed.
The beauty of getting a partner in the church is that if they are truly born again, then you are sure you’ve got a soul mate that’s morally upright. Nevertheless, don’t let your quest for a partner occupy your mind so much that you forget what took you to church.
23. Clubs and parties
If you are an extrovert, it’s time to dress up, step out and mingle. The dating scene is an ocean full of so many singles waiting for someone to ask them out.
Quit feeling sorry for yourself, go out with your friends, dance the night away and make new friends.
The more your circle of friends expands, the easier it will be to meet someone you like.
While out clubbing, don’t be shy.
Hold intelligent conversations, and smile always. It makes you more approachable.
24. Family and friends
Connections by family and friends may seem outdated, but you could get a soul mate through this method, and a good one at that.
Your friend knows a friend who is single and searching. Connecting you could be the beginning of something beautiful.
You need to be open-minded and treat these connections as an exploration. By meeting several people, you’ll grow your circle of friends, and even if you don’t meet someone who interests you, you’ll learn a lot and develop beautiful friendships.
25. Networking events and seminars
For the career-oriented singles, this method will work just fine.
I bet you have those networking events and seminars. Make use of them. The beauty with these events is that people are usually more relaxed and open to conversations.
You don’t need to be shy. If you feel attracted to someone, walk up to them during those breaks and chat them up. You never know they may also be into you.
If the feeling is mutual, I pray that it is, exchange contacts and plan on meeting somewhere else more relaxed and private.
Bottom line
Breakups suck. It’s no secret. It’s even tougher if you were dumped. However, if your partner has made the decision, accept it and move on.
Pick the lessons, and find closure. Take the time out and grieve as much as you want, but later pick the pieces and move on. Remember you are worthy and deserve to be loved.
I hope this article provides you with the insight you need on how to meet someone after a breakup.
Good luck!
