5 Simple, yet Effective Online Dating Openers for Men That Will Get You Responses
Hey there!
I can see that you’re getting more matches than before in the Online Dating world. That’s great! With more matches comes more opportunities to meet new and interesting women. Keep up the good work.
The next obstacle is that although getting more matches is great, learning how to convert them into dates is what really matters. You may have 100 matches but if none of them responds they are all worthless.
So, how do you get her to respond? How do you intrigue her? How do you pique her interest?
That’s what we’re going to discuss in today’s article, namely: 5 Simple, yet Effective Online Dating Openers for Men That Will Get You Responses.
And without further ado, let’s begin with the first one:
1. Traditional Opener
I figured we ought to start with something easy and (more or less) familiar to most. The traditional Online Dating Opener: The “Hey” or “Hello” but never “Hi” (I’m kidding, it’s just too ‘eh’ sounding for my taste).
Now, this is pretty boring. It doesn’t show anything. It’s very casual and everybody uses it. So right off the bat, it’s bad. But we’re going to upgrade it a bit now. See, everyone can start a conversation with a “Hey” but it doesn’t prompt anything from the other side other than another “Hey” (or an ignore, which you can expect most of the time if you’re starting with a “Hello”). So, it’s basically a useless word alone. BUT if you combine it with something like a compliment (we’ll go over this later again), or even a critique (yes, you can say negative things about women and still win them over sometimes) you can spice the boring “Hey” into something better.
What’s more, you can (and probably should most of the times) add another sentence to this traditional opener. That should be a question. This will mean that she will have something to talk about when she responds. It won’t be a simple “Thank you for the compliment” or “Screw you” (for the critique). And try to make it an open-ended question, one that she can’t answer with just “yes” or “no”.
For example:
“Hey, you seem like a cool person. What do you do for fun?”
See how that prompts you to experience positive emotions (because of the compliment) and then talk about yourself (people love to talk about themselves)? That’s exactly what you want! And that’s exactly what she’ll want to see from a first message (most of the times, depends on what type the girl is).
Let’s give a critique example:
“Hey, your shoes are dirty in the 3rd photo. Do you do extreme sports or something?”
Notice how these sentences work in conjunction. In the beginning, I’m criticizing, saying something mean. But after that, I’m showing interest. That’s actually called a ‘Neg’, or ‘Negging’. It’s basically, a critique and a compliment (or showing interest) at the same time. It’s great because it puts you apart from the other guys who wouldn’t say something mean to a girl and instead opt only for compliments. Use it wisely.
2. Profile Opener (Bio/Photos)
This Online Dating Opener is pretty common sense too. You basically use something from her profile to start the conversation. Maybe she says something interesting or funny in her bio -> Comment on it. Maybe she has an interesting or funny or whatever photo/photos -> Comment on it.
People intentionally put their Online Dating profiles the way they do. To make other intrigued by them. You can learn more about how you can do the same and create The Perfect Online Dating Profile Here (link to other article).
Then again, she’s probably heard these thing a thousand times already from everyone else who matched with her. So you may want to push it to the next level. But how?
Simply try to find a different angle or something other than what’s at the front, being showcased. If she has a photo of her dog you bet there have been a ton of guys commenting on the dog itself, asking for the breed, the age, etc. Be more interesting. If she has a dog she must love animals. Ask her what her favorite memory of her furry friend is. I bet not many guys have asked her that.
What’s more: it’s an open-ended question. You know how good that is, it’ll get her to talk more.
Something simple like: “You must really love animals. What’s your favorite memory of your dog?”
I guarantee this will get a great response and great results!
Same deal with her bio. If she said that she’s the queen of food consumption, most likely a ton of guys have commented on it with something like “what food do you like the most?” or “how much can you eat in one go?”.
How about setting up a challenge? Why don’t you say: “Queen of food consumption? Bah, you’re nothing to me… I can eat twice as much as you can ever dream!”.
That’ll surely grab her attention. AND – it’s already setting up a potential date. Double win!
Another angle of approach to this Online Dating Opener is the following thing that I like to occasionally do: Finding something completely random.
- Note: this won’t work on girls that are too serious and don’t know how to have fun/joke around. Usually, that won’t be the case since most girls are less serious and analytical, but her current mood can have a great impact (as with anything really, these things are, sadly, out of our control when texting).
So, what I’ll do sometimes is find a completely normal and boring everyday object in her very targeted and interesting photo or bio and move the highlight there. Maybe she has a photo of a Halloween costume where she did something awesome. On that photo, there’s a bookshelf with several books, one of them is black. I’d say something like: “Oh. My. God… The black book on the 4th photo is the most beautiful book I’ve ever seen! What is it?”.
This is a funny take on this whole opener. It’s something that no other guy would ever do (except me, haha) and as such, it sets you apart big time. Also, if she has a great sense of humor she’ll find it very funny and you’re off to a great start already. ALSO, it sets up a potential date where she shows you the black book. I should take notes of my own sometimes… This is a terrific Online Dating Opener!
3. GIF Opener
Ah, my absolute most favorite opener these days! GIFs are just sooo much fun. There are a TON of GIFs. Funny ones, sad ones, inspiring ones, brilliant ones, etc. There’s a GIF for EVERY SITUATION AND RESPONSE.
Just try it out, the next time you text with somebody write in the GIF search box what you were going to say and watch as numerous GIFs, that are exactly the response you wanted appear.
You can use practically any GIF for an opener but here are some of my favorite ideas for GIFs as Online Dating Openers:
“Hey” GIF
There is a TON cool, funny GIFs that have someone (or something) wave and say “Hey” or “Hello”. These are great conversation starters because it’s not the normal “Hey” but instead something more interesting.
You can also be a bit bolder and send the ones that have a person sending a kiss. Here’s one of my favorite “Hey” GIFs:
Sending a Kiss GIF
These are, as mentioned before, also great for conversation starters. They are more for the bold people as they show more intent but that’s definitely a good thing. Definitely, try them out. Here are my favorite of this type:
As you can see you can start with literally any GIF and it’ll be something fresh and interesting for her. There’s also a HUGE possibility that she’ll respond with a GIF of her own. You can then do what I like to call “GIF Battles”, basically you both send GIFs and try to make the other one laugh more and break it first. Don’t try to win, just send 2-3-4 and then continue to the meat and bones of the conversation, you don’t want to make it a friendly playful thing, it should be something to spike her interest.
But let’s get to the rest of the Online Dating Openers:
4. Direct Opener
Basically, you tell her directly that you’re interested. You show intent. You make sure she knows you’re not playing around.
This can be extremely good. She’ll know that you’re not messing around and skip straight to the sexual talk and date setting etc. This is something you’ll have to do at some point in the conversation regardless, so, why not do it at the very beginning?
Women LOVE masculine men and showing intent is a clear masculine trait. The only problem that can arise from this is that women are skeptical most times so they’ll want to test you. That will happen regardless, so you shouldn’t really give it much credit.
Basically, she’ll tell you to slow down, or she’ll avoid the topic, or she’ll downright challenge you and push things into overdrive. All of this JUST to see how you’ll react. And if you react with anything other than a calm tone and communicating that you “Don’t care” or if you just assume that what is happening is completely normal for you, she’ll turn you down. So, DO NOT BACK DOWN when you’re showing intent. If she gives you shit for it, brush it off. If she amplifies it, act like that happens usually. Do NOT show any signs of second-guessing and hesitation.
But let’s actually talk about the Direct Online Dating Opener… Basically, you want to be, well, Direct. Tell her that you’re interested in her and move the conversation towards a date:
- “I like your X (something about her)”
- “You are simply gorgeous (whatever you like about her)”
- “That’s a naughty photo you’ve got there. I’m sure it gets many men intrigued”
See how all of these basically tell her “Hey, I’m liking what I see, I’m going to take it”. That’s exactly what she wants but she’ll test you out before she gives it to you, so be prepared!
Risky-er Direct Openers
You can also try some different direct openers that may or may not work all times. The thing is that when they do they instantly shoot the conversation either to setting the date or they basically set the date themselves. If you’re confident in yourself and can pass the tests that we’ve talked about you can try these from time to time on girl you think will be down (you can get a general feel of how they are as a person from their profile).
Basically something like:
- “Number?”
- “Date?”
- “Are you free on X day?”
Stuff like that… These aren’t for every girl though since they are very hit or miss. Fortunately, they aren’t the end of the world. Many times you can recover if the girl reacts badly to these by just calibrating later in the conversation if they get you a response.
And an opener is used to get a response, nothing else. So whatever the response, you’re one step ahead in the interaction so, that’s great. Just thought that I’d mention these ones too. But let’s get to the last Online Dating Opener:
5. Combination of Different Online Dating Openers
Right, you’re reading the right thing… It’s possible to combine these 4 different openers together if you want to. Depending on the situation you’ll get better results with different combinations, but ultimately it falls down to what you enjoy the most.
For example: if you’re more of a shy person you’d prefer the Traditional Opener instead of the Direct Opener. So you can send a GIF with a “Hey” that’s not all-out full of intent.
Or Maybe you’ll combine A GIF with something from her Bio…
You can even send a “Hey” GIF and then ask a question from her profile to get an answer.
On the other hand, if you’re a bit bolder, you’d favor the Direct Opener.
You’ll prefer sending GIFs with kisses on them, or maybe a GIF that asks for a number/date like these:
Or maybe you’ll send a Direct Opener followed by a question about her profile…
Basically, you can mix and match these 4 Online Dating Openers however you like and you’ll get your matches interested even more. When it comes to this moderation is essential so, make sure you’re not overdoing it and spamming her messages. In any case, a combination of different openers can go a very long way.
And that’s all for this guide…
Go ahead and try some of these on your own. The openers I’ve shown you here have all worked out for me and are tested, so you know you’re getting only proven to work conversation starters here.
With that said, as I’ve mentioned it’s best to craft something of your own. I LOVE using GIFs for openers so I do that. Mix and match what you like and what works for you and you’ll be the best at Online Dating Openers in no time!
Now all that’s left is to get EVEN MORE matches to put these on to good use. So, why don’t you check these other posts on:
How To Set Up The Perfect Online Dating Profile
And
