Online Dating VS Real Life Dating. The Only Guide For Men You’ll Ever Need

Hey, there!

When it comes to Dating and Relationships, they usually happen in real life. The difference is that they can start online too.

Gone are the days without the Internet, when men had to meet women through friends, on the street, or in the grocery store (although these methods aren’t so bad as you’ll find out later).

 

Can you imagine what it was before?

• No Tinder
• No Facebook
• No Twitter

All these online platforms that connect people just didn’t exist. That would make dating a lot harder, right? And someone trying to actively date and not using these right now would be a fool… Or will he?

That’s what we’ll discuss today in this article. The differences between Online Dating VS Real Life Dating.

And let’s dive into it by talking a bit about both to start off. Let’s take Online Dating first:

1.Online Dating

Literally, a GODSEND…

Online Dating has been HUGE right from the start. Having the opportunity to talk and flirt with multiple women at a time without even being there physically is an enormous thing. It’s just a great asset. Too great at times.

I’m sure you’ve experienced Online Dating by now and know all the intricacies about it but let’s take a look at what Online Dating IS and ISN’T. I’m doing this because I’ve seen a TON of men getting it wrong and going about Online Dating from the wrong angle.

1.1.Online Dating IS:

• Online Dating is a tool that you use to meet new women

Online Dating sites and platforms basically force you to meet new women. You craft a profile and then you go swiping and liking and whatnot on women’s profiles. You like the ones that you … well, like… and you skip the ones that you don’t.

Hopefully, you get some matches and then…

• Online Dating is a tool that lets you communicate with women stress-free

Then you text them. And since it’s a text, which means you’re not there physically in front of her, it’s soo much more stress-free. You can text them at whatever time is convenient for you. You can text them whatever you want. And the best part: there won’t be any severe consequences… You’re in the clear whatever happens. Nobody will know if she rejected you and nobody will think anything of it.

What’s more then?

• Online Dating is a tool that lets you have a good conversation with women

Online, you can talk with your matches on whatever topics you want. And since the consequences are soo low, chances are both of you will be willing to talk more violently about things that may be weird if you were to talk about in real life.

You can text her whatever you want and for however long time you want and she can do the same. BUT…

• Online Dating is a tool to set up a real life date

And this is where most guys get it wrong…

They will text a girl on and on for a long time. Making the whole conversation right then and there … on text. And the women will text back and everything will feel like it’s going the right way.

And they most men will ask for a date, but the woman will reject it. Why does that happen, you ask?

Simple, because there’s no sexual tension. There is no attraction. Nothing…

Yes, the woman will enjoy talking to you. But in the same way that she enjoys talking to her girlfriends. If you don’t show sexual intent and push the conversation for a date or any kind of result early and often, then you’re bound to sound like a friend. And she can’t be sexually attracted to her friend, so she won’t go on a date with you.

I’m sure there will be some serious revelations here, but let’s continue and see what…

1.2.Online Dating ISN’T:

• Online Dating isn’t a tool to find true love

As much as some people want to believe in this, you have to be very skeptical about anything online. There’s a TON of scams that can rob you out of your precious cash and if you’re interested you can learn more about these here (link to Online Dating Scams article) …

Other than that, finding true love online is just plain stupid. You CAN find a person who you really enjoy and AFTER meeting them and going out a few times fall for them and experience true love… But that’s all AFTER Online Dating… Looong after it.

Just don’t go online with the hopes of finding “The One”.

• Online Dating isn’t a tool for making friends

You should have clear and precise goals. On Online Dating Platforms you’ll find people looking to have one-night stands, casual sex, maybe a relationship (although rarely a long one in my opinion). The women there “Looking for friends” are really just those who don’t want to look like sluts and didn’t have a lot of imagination to write something more (don’t judge them, women usually don’t know how to logically turn men on via text). So just cut the crap and if all you want is friends (unless it’s friends with benefits) stick to Facebook, Twitter, and such.

• Online Dating isn’t a place to keep a conversation going for long

As we discussed, the nature of Online Dating Platforms is that people are looking for fun there, not friends. SO, you shouldn’t be going around texting women endless things with no intent, no flirt, and no sexual tone.

As you now know, this will DESTROY your chances with women, so just go for the date, push for the number, flirt with her…

That’s about it, really… As you can see Online Dating is a great tool for a lot of great things for us men.

But how does Real Life Dating go?

What are its pros and cons?

What can we say about it?

Let’s go straight to it:

 

2.Real Life Dating

Obviously, there will be differences in Online Dating VS Real Life Dating…

For starters, women you meet online are already in the mentality of hooking up (on Online Dating Platforms). Outside, especially during the day (it’s different at night and I’ll tell you why in a minute), women aren’t in the same mentality. They are busy with whatever they are doing or wherever they are going.

This means that your approach should be different. While we talked about how being flirty and saying things with intent is a great thing online, during the day, in real life, it’s a bit different.

You have to gage the surroundings and the social situation.

Let’s give an example, it’s better to show you what I mean rather than explaining it with too many words…

Let’s say you’re at the grocery store and you see a cute girl, looking through the apples.

You want to approach her because she’s stunningly beautiful. How do you do that?

Most guys will go up to her (if they actually manage to find the courage… I know I don’t sometimes) and say something like: “Hey, I thought you are very beautiful, I came to say hi”.

Now if you’re a beginner that great. It means you’re breaking out of your shell (that most beginners have) and actually making a move (crushing approach anxiety as many call it). But this will usually not give you anything. She’ll politely say “thank you” and she’ll feel awkward and leave.

 

Now… Imagine the same scenario, but this time you go up to her and say the following:

“Hey there, those apples sure seem sweet, don’t they?”

This time you’re going in and assuming that you both know each other. While the first situation was obviously a pickup situation (for everyone around) this one seems like two friends who saw each other at the grocery store.

She’ll be a bit more at ease but this is not enough. She’ll say something like “yes, they are sweet” or whatever, but you need to move the conversation immediately and make it comfortable for her.

Note that you already did that a bit by making it not seem weird for people around you, and she knows that.

So you continue with something like:

“I can see you have an eye for a healthy lifestyle, I wanted to get into the whole “eating healthy” thing a while ago, what can you recommend to a guy like me?”.

Notice how this does a few things at once.

First – it gives you an agenda for doing what you’re doing (approaching her). Now she knows why you’re there talking to her and before that she didn’t know so it was awkward.

Second – it shows that you’re observant (you notice that she’s eating healthy)

Third – it’s an honest compliment that most guys won’t give her, so it’s something more exciting for her (most guys go as far as telling women that they are beautiful, cute, etc… only appearance-related compliments if you will, that’s why it’s not interesting for women to hear these anymore)

And Lastly – You’re asking an open-ended question, making her invest in the conversation.

That’s basically how a normal conversation with your friends goes, and that’s exactly what you want.

You talk a bit with her, you have a good time (you can also do the “OMG, we’ve talked so much and I still haven’t introduced myself… I’m soo rude. Anyway I’m Mike – this is communicating that you guys are having so much fun and are so free that you forget basic things, making the whole conversation even stronger and more memorable).

Then on a high note in the conversation you should get her number: “Damn, I have to be home soon… You seem like an awesome person, how about we grab coffee sometime?” she agrees, then “Cool, let me grab your number then”.

This here is also great, because:

First – You convey scarcity (of time in this case) where you put her in a situation where she has little time to act

Second – Instead of going for the number you go for the date, which cuts your texting game a lot and makes sense

And Third – you get the number … obviously a good thing. AND it’s natural, it’s not pushy or it doesn’t feel like you’re picking her up… It’s only natural to get her number in order to set up a date

After that, you may feel like ejecting from the conversation immediately, but you can do one more thing that will be great… Namely, stay a bit longer.

Say something like: “Alright, by the way, what’s your schedule like? You must be a busy person what with all the healthy eating and stuff.”

Again, this does several things at once:

First – You’re staying there… you’re not like the guys who take a number and leave immediately, she rarely responds to those.

Second – You’re asking for the logistics so you know how to set up the date and more importantly when to text her (you’ll know when she generally has more free time so you won’t text her while she’s busy at work and instead when she has more time to respond back)

And Third – You’re referencing the interaction that you two just had, making it even more memorable

All these things lead to making everything better for her and that number you got is even more solid. Because try to see things from her perspective: She gets a TON of guys approaching her daily, she gives her number a TON of times (most of the times to get the guy to leave her alone, which means she’ll never respond back) and then she meets you, has a normal, not-awkward conversation, everything is great… Obviously, she’ll want to respond to you instead of all those other guys.

Ooh… I almost forgot… After you get her number, text her then and there immediately. You want her to which number is yours since she has all those other guys texting her… You either say something about the conversation or text yourself from her phone … whatever it is, make sure she knows that she’s texting you the next time you text her.

As you can see, Real Life Dating is a bit different. You have to manage the interaction and the surroundings at the same time, something that doesn’t happen Online…

And that’s not the end of it… This is just during the day when people are busy with whatever they are doing. At night (basically when you go to the bar, club, etc.), everything is different…

 

So, how would you approach during the night at the bar?

This time you know people aren’t busy. They are there to have fun, so going out and doing small talk and chit-chat isn’t going to work favorably. The women there want to drink, dance, and do fun things. They aren’t there to have boring conversations about healthy foods. And your game should change accordingly.

First off, you don’t want to look like the guy who’s picking them up (again). What I like to do is just go to the group of women that I like (obviously they will be in groups… nobody goes out alone) and say something like: “What’s up people?” / “How are you guys doing?” / “Are you enjoying the party?” …

This looks like I’m approaching a group of friends to everyone else… And to themselves. It looks like I know someone from the group and I go to them, while in fact, I don’t. This makes them accept me. Then I’ll talk with them for a bit (usually about the party, or about the drink, or whatever) and bounce off. I want to make them my friends. I want to make them a group where I can go later and stay in and have fun with. And that’s what you want to do at the start of the night. Because people are just coming and they want to have fun, so they don’t want to have some random dude to talk to, they want to enjoy the night… Later when you come back you’ll build more comfort, more relationships and even pull one of the girls to dance with you or grab a drink or something.

You do this with everyone in the venue, by the way. You want to be “the cool social guy who’s friends with everyone”. Then later in the night you have fun you go around and everyone is your friend so you exchange a couple of words and if you see a girl you like you stay a bit more and look to isolate her. Maybe bring her to the dance floor to dance or something or (since we’re in a bar) go get a drink with her. Then talk with her more alone.

BUT… It’s important to show intent here. You don’t want to be overly sexual, but you want to make the conversation a little spicy. Ask her questions, be interested in her. Qualify her (this is HUGE). This means to say things like: “Ooh, you’re into art… I love art, we could work out then”. Also … Disqualify her: “You like Horror movie … aww, too bad, I don’t like people who enjoy horror much”. Make yourself be the prize and get her to chase you. Every time she does something good, you show her that she’s winning you… But also show her signs of uncertainty, sometimes pulling back to make her chase you more and qualify herself to you.

From there on you should be good… Have fun with your girl but remember to be friends with her friends. If her friends don’t like you, they’ll cock-block you HARD. Make sure they like you and they know you’re an awesome guy and not the “next dude hitting on their friend”. They’ll even protect her for you… When awkward dudes go to hit on her they’ll cock-block them and they may even push you to her when things are happening, helping you be more sexual and stuff (I’ve had this happen to me, it’s amazing). And most importantly, they’ll be okay with leaving her with you, which means that you can pull her to your place (or hers) at the end of the night and she won’t feel like a slut because her friends approve of you. Brilliant!

I’m hoping that all of this up until now is coming nicely together for you and you’re experiencing the “AHA!” or “Eureka!” moments while reading this. I know I certainly did when I found these things out…

But let’s get back on track… We’re talking about Online Dating VS Real Life Dating. And now that we’ve covered each on their own, let’s talk about them together. We’ll briefly go over their differences again, we’ll discuss how they work together, and how to get the best results. We’ll also talk about what things to avoid…

So, let’s get right on it:

 

3.Online Dating VS Real Life Dating

As you now see, both Online Dating AND Real Life Dating have their Pros and Cons.

Online Dating excels at:

• Quantity of interactions… You can talk to a higher number of women at once online.
• Fast interactions… If you’re doing it right, you’ll be able to get more done in less time since the atmosphere of online dating is… well… dating. So, you can be flirtier.
• Less stress… While online you have more freedom to talk whatever you want because nobody will judge you. This makes everything less stressful.

And Real Life Dating excels at:

• Quality of interactions… If you play your cards right you have much more chances to score a date or more from a real life interaction… Sadly, not many people know how to do that but now you got a lot of good pointers that you can use!
• More diversity… Approaching during the day is one thing and approaching at a bar or club is a whole other thing. This makes it (in my opinion) a LOT more interesting. Also, you get to choose your environment to the one where you excel. If you’re uncomfortable interrupting women while they are doing their daily deeds, you can opt to approach at night at the bar. If you’re more on the shy side and don’t like bars and clubs, you can approach during the day.
• Real improvement… While approaching offline, you’re actually communicating and interacting with women in real life. That’s great because at some point regardless where you met them (either online or offline) you’ll have to go on a date with them. And this way you’re getting more training in.

 

So, which one should you pick? What should you do? Which is better – Online Dating or Real Life Dating?

The answer is (drumroll please) BOTH…

Yes, you should use both in order to see the best results.

 

You see, both specialize in different aspects which are all great. And if you want to really see results you should use both.

 

• DO make a Tinder account and match a TON of women. Then push for dates and meet them.
• DO approach each and every woman THAT YOU LIKE while out and about doing your business.
• DO go to bars and clubs and approach women there.

You’ll do sooo much better than the average guy who just sits on their computer or phone all day praying for matches.

And what’s more: You’ll naturally build an abundant mentality.

An Abundant mentality is when you realize you have options and so you stress less about individual women that you like and instead focus more on other, more interesting and positive things. This means that instead of falling in love with one girl and putting her on a pedestal, you’ll be preoccupied with several at a time and you won’t be able to fall for that one. This will reduce the toxicity that naturally occurs when you’re love-struck and instead you can focus on your business, or your work, or on your dating life and finding even more women…

As you can see, Dating is, in general, not that hard. It’s actually common sense. But because of our biological needs, we give it soo much importance that we stop thinking logically and try to do weird things…

 

All in all, you should now be equipped with a TON of knowledge that you’ll use to tackle both Online Dating AND Real Life Dating. As you now know, both are great for your dating life and I highly encourage you to delve into both at once.

Remember the things you’ve learned here and go get yourself some dates…

Cya around!