20 Online Dating Horror Stories That Will Teach Everyone What To Watch Out For Online
Online Dating is great… But sometimes weird things can happen.
It’s not uncommon to find people that aren’t … normal… on the Internet, and even more so on an Online Dating Platform. See, the added anonymity acts as a safety net for all kinds of weird. Keep this in mind as we go through the best Online Dating Horror Stories that we found.
I’d like to start with the lighter ones and move more and more into the hardcore weird ones so, here goes nothing:
1. Matched With An Ex…
“Plenty Of Fish matched me with my ex-wife”
Now, this is hilarious. But you can’t blame an algorithm to be perfect. In the end of the day it’s just numbers and words that are meant to match you with a person who shares similar interests.
If you were married, you definitely had similar interests…
2. Incongruent Opener…
There are plenty of great openers out there on the web, aimed to help men and women spark a conversation online. The trick with those is to know how to use them… it’s not always a matter of copy and paste.
This here is called the ‘Apocalypse Opener’ it’s really good… WHEN USED THE RIGHT WAY.
You can’t just go ahead copying and pasting it randomly.
In person this opener would be used as a self-amusement tool. Basically you’d say it while conveying with your body language that you’re not needy and attached (as the words suggest) but instead you’re having a blast with your life so you act like this to have fun yourself.
Online, it’s a bit different. Online they can’t see your body language, but what they can see is your profile. So you need a great profile that conveys that you’re a cool guy and you’re acting out of character to amuse yourself… You can learn How To Set The Perfect Online Dating Profile For Men.
And if you’re texting something like that and it’s incongruent with your profile it can be REALLY unattractive and off-putting. So, keep that in mind.
As for the women, there’s a horror story for women’s openers… Watch out number 12 on our list.
3. Help With Citizenship…
This one is from a Woman’s POV, but it’s just simply hilarious:
“He asked me to marry him for $5.000. After I refused he went mad and said that there’d be people willing to do it for half the money… Turns out he wanted to marry me to get American Citizenship.”
Now, this one is very funny, I know… Foreigners can be weird and funny to us because they don’t usually have the same value systems and beliefs.
That aside, women and money are a very weird dynamic (and I’m sure the ladies reading this will agree). On one hand wealth attracts women a lot. BUT, on the other hand it can make them feel like prostitutes which is a HUGE no-no… For example:
4. Implying Prostitution…
This next woman shared:
“His opening line was simply: “$100?” … Disgusting!”
Like I’ve said… Prostitution isn’t really a ‘Well-Renowned’ Profession. At least not among women. So, try to stay clear of such implications when you’re Online Dating.
And girls, from the whole ‘real man’ community, please ignore these disgusting children. They aren’t ready for anything serious yet and aren’t sure what to do with their lives. Ignore and move on, thank you…
5. Looking Familiar…
“We were on a date and he asked me what I did for a living because I seemed familiar. Turns out he thought I was a porn star from a porn movie he’d watched…”
The porn industry isn’t very popular with women. Don’t get me wrong… TONS of women watch porn, they just don’t like to be associated with it, you know, because it’s an objectification of their bodies. Basically, keep stray of this topic too (unless she brings it up).
Again, women, please don’t pay attention to such remarks. Often times men will think they are witty for saying something like that. It’s immature and a simple displeased gesture from you should make them feel uncomfortable for what they’ve done.
6. Weird Kinks…
“The first thing he said was: “Your feet look gorgeous, can I suck on your toes? …”
There’s surprisingly (or, well, not really… people have all kinds of kinks) a TON of similar Online Dating Horror Stories (usually men wanting to suck toes, but some women too) that we’ve found.
Now, as much as I like to endorse that everything is alright, and it’s okay for people to have kinks… They are a taboo for a reason.
It’s NOT socially normal to go around and ask people such questions. So, obviously, it will be weird and unattractive when you do it (even online). Just don’t do it. You may find someone who’s into that, but you’re killing every other chance with everybody else.
7. Blackmail…
“We met on Tinder and everything was going fine, so we moved to Facebook. A few weeks later he sent me a photo of women’s breasts and told me to send him more or else he’d show it to all my friends on Facebook. I threatened to involve the police, to which he started to apologize and then I blocked him, obviously.”
Blackmail is actually a criminal offense, no kidding. It’s against the law. Go see for yourself.
Nevertheless, do yourself a favor and don’t do these things. It’s not going to get you anywhere and it’s pretty childish in my opinion.
But men aren’t the only ones at fault for such endeavors:
8. Blackmail 2 (Women Edition) …
“I matched with this chick about a month ago… Everything was going great, we connected a lot and even started planning on a date. That is until she asked me to pay her to go on the date.
She literally told me to give her $100 or the date is off. What. The. Hell???”
Now, this doesn’t happen often. In fact, I would have never thought that something like this could happen… but there it is.
In any case, don’t get fooled fellas… If she’s asking for money to even come on a date with you she’s a next level gold-digger.
Girls, please don’t do this… Some of us will give you money because we get desperate. You’re not doing anyone a favor promoting a “prostitution is OK” behavior.
9. The Sex Offender…
“I never thought that I’d actually meet someone worthwhile online but it almost happened… The conversations were perfect, the mood – incredible. Everything was going splendid up until I decided to show him to my family and I noticed him looking down my 12 years old sister’s blouse… I instantly kicked him and I have never been on an Online Dating Platform ever again. I also check the local newspaper from time to time to see if he’s been under any charges.”
I’m NOT going over why this is not acceptable… Moving along.
10. The Cheater…
“A guy and I matched on Tinder a few weeks ago. Everything went smooth as silk and we even ended up sleeping together. In the middle of sex, he told me he had a girlfriend… Instant turn-off. I got up and kicked him out. Using me to cheat is NOT COOL.”
Girls don’t like cheating. At all… For us guys, we don’t really care if our one-night stand is cheating on her boyfriend (at least most of us) unless we know the guy. It’s not such a big deal.
BUT… For women… It’s almost as cheating on them altogether. Just a heads up… Don’t bring up cheating or anything.
And while we’re on that note:
11. Talking About The EX…
“She was a solid 9/10! We matched. We chatted up. We went on a date… And then it all went downhill. He just didn’t stop talking about how much she hated her ex… We never talked again after.”
Talking about Ex’s is a HUUUGE NO-NO… Everyone hates it. It’s annoying and ridiculous.
Women hate it even more. So avoid it at any cost.
That doesn’t mean it’s more OK to talk about your Ex-Boyfriend to any guy you’re dating either. Keep the past in the past. If anything, you’re even more likely to end up in a similar article for the top Online Dating Horror Stories of the year or something, haha.
12. Two For One…
Women… Do you remember the weird Apocalypse opener on number 2? Here’s a story for you, you also have to watch out what you’re saying first to the guys:
“I was using the same opener on Bumble for every guy—’You can only listen to one song for the rest of your life. Which one is it?’—when one of them (we’ll call him Madison) replied, ‘Does that line actually work for you?’ Then another replied, ‘I’m with Madison on this one.’ Apparently, they were friends who happened to be together when I messaged them both the same thing! I was shocked and embarrassed, so I blocked them—it was the first thing I could think of doing.”
Most people aren’t very creative and Online Dating makes us VEERY lazy… We’ll use the same line over and over until we find a glaring fault in it because it’s just easier and free of consequence.
That being said, this online dating horror story teaches us a LOT:
Try to be creative once in a while (I’ve made a whole other article on this one, it’s called “5 Simple, yet Effective Online Dating Openers for Men That Will Get You Responses” … Check it out here).
Also, if you match with a girl and your friend also matches with her (I’ve had that happen with Tinder once, it was hilarious) don’t make it known. Instead use the knowledge you both gather and wing each other without her realizing (give the other one value by talking about a guy that would be like him or something, you’ll figure it out).
And since I told you this secret, for the girls: use the same thing with your girlfriends. If you both happen to match with the same guy don’t make it obvious. But I’m sure you’re doing those things anyways, haha.
13. The Gambler…
This sounds like an awesome title, yeah? How can this be a part of an Online Dating Horror Stories article??? Read on…
“I was once on a date where the guy brought everyone from his office to the bar. They were all staring nervously at us.
I didn’t realize this at first, but after a while it became easier to spot them. I confronted him about it to which he told me that they all decided to make bets on how the date would go. ‘You’re about to lose my co-workers some money, haha” he said.
Then he started pointing out single people from the crowd and explaining what they’ve bet on.
Apparently nobody trusted him enough to say the truth about the date afterwards.
He also wanted to exploit me for more dates… Not Cool!
After this we never spoke again…”
This one is simply too good. It’s just hilarious. Betting on how your date will go, really funny. Bringing your entire office because they don’t trust you… A bit creepy, strange, and demonstrating low-value. BUT also trying to exploit your date for money… Ehh that’s where things go from funny to downright unattractive and a major turn-off.
Basically, either don’t make bets on your dates (and It’s stupid not only because of this… It’s stupid because it makes you outcome dependent and thus drastically decreases your chances since you’re needier) OR just make it less known so your date doesn’t suspect (although, I still think it’s very stupid and you’re better of betting on sports or something).
14. Ooooops, haha…
I decided to throw a light-hearted and funny one in here just to lighten the mood after all these serious and thought-provoking Online Dating Horror Stories. Read on:
“I matched with a guy on OkCupid. It all went great and we planned a date at a nice Italian restaurant. I noticed him in front as I was walking and I hurried up (nobody wants to awkwardly make eye contact for a whole block before arriving) The problem was that just as I got near him I tripped and fell… Quickly got up and said hi… That was soooo much more awkward, Oh God…”
I wish I’d tell you a great advice for this one, but it’s just a funny story… Watch where you step? Haha…
15. Total Weirdo…
Back to the weird Online Dating Horror Stories… Let’s go!
“We were on a date after we matched. Conversation was going smoothly until I told her that I grew up in a city which had rougher reputation. Her eye immediately livened up and she started asking if I used to be in a gang, if I fought a lot, and similar things. I don’t like the subject so I tried to derail it by telling a funny story of how I once got a black eye from a fight but it was nothing serious and then tried to change the subject.
She got really excited and said that she’d hate getting punched in the eye to which I explained that getting punched in the mouth is even worse since it hurts a TON.
She didn’t believe me so she did the ‘only logical thing’ she started punching herself…
She did that for a solid 10 minutes and ignored me when I tried to stop her. Right there… In the middle of the restaurant… In front of everyone…
Needless to say, we never talked after that one. I feel like I dodged a bullet with this one…”
Now, there’s a bit of craziness in each and every one of us. But beware of girls this crazy, guys.
If you ever find yourself in a similar (I don’t know how but anything can happen, right) situation, just remember Barney Stinson’s Hot and Crazy scale from How I Met Your Mother:
And if you’re a woman reading this. I’m sure you wouldn’t do something similar, but just have it in mind: We guys can be uncomfortable too, don’t embarrass us.
16. Pure Stupidity…
“I talked myself into going out on a date with an incredibly dull guy just because he looked very, very handsome.
After we went there everything went downhill. He was too dumb. Like ‘What The Heck, how does this man survive on his own?’ kind of dumb.
I tried to make conversation about books to get something out of him and was talking about my favorite book by George R.R Martin when the waiter showed up and my date said:
‘A Dance with Dragons sounds delicious, I’ll have one too’
He wasn’t pretty enough for this…”
What can I say here… Educate yourself?
But, no really… Intelligence is a great attraction for most women (and men). While I don’t believe that any of you will be this stupid like the guy from the story, I’m 100% confident that with a bit more books our game can change for the better.
Read up on some different topics, you’ll be a much, much better conversationalist…
17. Meth Head…
“I once went out with a girl I met from Tinder. Everything went fine until she proposed we stop for a smoke.
I thought she meant weed, since she seemed like the kind of girl. But she actually pulled out meth…
I watched her do meth, right in front of me…
Considering the date started with her crazy driving around and yelling at other people that girl was a bit too much on the crazy side.”
Should I again point to the Hot and Crazy chart?
This one is a bit crazier though… I have nothing against people doing drugs, but don’t make me a part of it (don’t do it in front of me). Take what you want from this story, guys…
And girls, don’t do drugs on the first date…
18. Dick Pics…
We all know this. Some men (I hope that’s not you) just send Dick Pictures and hope for the best… Something similar happened to this woman:
“I made a bunch of fake, blank profile because a friend of mine wanted to stalk her boyfriend.
Now, years later, I still regularly receive a couple dick pics every month or so.
Really, guys? Do you think that will work? On a BLANK PROFILE?!?”
Forget the disgusting part of this, will it really work? She asked the right questions…
Think about it: sending a dick photo to a blank profile… what does this tell about yourself?
– No Imagination
– No Standards
– Probably Really Sad In Real Life
Do you think that’s attractive? Hell NO! So, act accordingly…
Hopefully this leads to less dick pics for the women reading this.
19. The Catfish…
Ugh.
“I matched with a stunning woman. She was perfect!
We talked a bunch and finally she agreed on a date.
The moment I saw her… Everything went completely wrong.
She was nothing like the girl on the photos. Turns out she was a catfish!
She was obese and apparently used a fake profile to lure men in…
I’m never trusting Online Dating again!”
Beware of these things… It’s sad but it’s true…
One thing you can do is ask for specific photos, like “Take a photo right now” and judge from the details.
If I spot a catfish or something that would lead me to believe that I’m talking to one, I’ll immediately block them. It’s just not worth it…
And it happens to both men and women. If you’re interested in these things you’ll find out Online Dating Scams article interesting…
20. Threesome Couple…
“I had been texting this girl for a few weeks, and we finally decided to go out on a date. I suggest we go to restaurant closer to her place so she can get home faster.
It takes me an hour to get there, and I arrive at the restaurant before she does so I could be prepared.
The waitress brings her to my table, and I see another man walking with her. They both sit down which got me really confused.
She introduces me to her husband, and he tells me that they’ve been looking for another man to join them because his wife likes sleeping with two men at the same time, and he’s into it as well.
For the first time in my entire life, I was completely speechless. I had no idea how to reply, so I just got up and walked out.”
Ohh, where do I begin with this one, haha…
First, I’m totally OK with such relationships. That being said, I believe it’s better to be open about these things from the beginning to avoid such scenes…
And with that, we conclude our list of Online Dating Horror Stories. I hope you enjoyed it and had a laugh here and there. I also hope you got some value from all this. In any case, I’m going to wish you luck and may none of these situations ever happen to you, fellas…
